When we’re young, finding love is something we believe is easy because we simply assume that it will happen. For most people, it usually does. So what is it about finding love that seems to be so difficult as we get older and why do we think that true love will never happen? For the most part, how we feel about finding love has to do with how we were raised, societal beliefs and our past experiences.
Let’s face it, when we’re young we have no memories to call on that tell us how our personal relationship with love will be. After fifteen, twenty or thirty years of relationships we have drawn conclusions about how well we do attracting the opposite sex and how attracting love relates to us. After several failed relationships many people think they will never find the love they want and question whether it really exists. Maybe it hasn’t happened for them yet or they have trouble maintaining it. Whatever the reason, it’s not useful to base your future on past experiences. Life throws us situations to help us grow. It’s our decision whether we want to learn or stay the same.
In our society, it is believed youth is attractive and men and women over 40 lose their physical appeal. It is also a societal belief, that people who have ‘baggage’ whether it’s dependents, debt or unresolved issues are less attractive and will have a tougher time finding love. Whether these ideas are true or not doesn’t matter if the person who is looking for love believes them. For example, a recently divorced woman with young children might feel she will never find love because she has dependents (especially if she picks this message up from her ‘well-meaning’ friends and relatives). This is only true if she believes it is. If she meets her soul mate – someone who truly loves her for who she is – he will not be looking at her children as a problem but as a benefit. It actually weeds out men who are not a good fit.
Have you fallen for the belief that you are no longer attractive because you are a man or woman over 40 and because of this you won’t find love? If you believe this then you are saying that the only reason someone would be interested in you is for your physical attractiveness. I’m sure you don’t believe this to be true. The truth is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that a true love-match goes way beyond physical beauty. However, if this is something you think is holding you back, the one thing you can do is start taking better care of your body. You can begin by feeding it nourishing food and exercising on a regular basis. It has been proven that energy and self-esteem increase as we take care of our bodies.
Look at this as a time in your life for enjoyment, transformation and improvement. You will find love if you stay positive, focus on what you want and find pleasure in your life as it is.
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